Chinese Economy Project and The Mile I Will Beat

Right now I’m in that awkward limbo of waiting until dinner is done so I can start on my homework again… I’m so unproductive when I’m hungry. I’m gonna be so boned if we ever go into a famine. 

Lately I’ve been reading about China’s economy and the issues it faces for an economics project. One of the problems is that the population is going to be old as butt in the middle of this century, which is a problem because it means that younger workers have to start carrying the elderly’s weight within the economical system. It’s funny, the kind of dilemma this presents: if we have less children, we help out in keeping the population stable but risk the population’s transformation into an older demographic, but if we have a lot more children to counterbalance this, then we have the problem of providing for more people on this planet. So somehow, China has to provide a way for keeping older people in the work force, according to my research. 

Well, good luck with that China. I have no idea how you’re going to do that. I believe though.

In other news, I have decided that I will beat my 8th grade mile PR before I graduate this year. It is a worthy goal… it’s been a while since I’ve consistently ran 5:40 miles. But 5:39, that’s the number to beat. 5:30 is a nice round number to aim for. I’ll have to get pretty conditioned for it. I plan on strengthening my legs with lifting weights and uphill running. Leg strength I’ve noticed, is really important, particularly in the last leg of a race. It’s crazy. I’ll also have to practice running strategy as well. Currently I’ve been working out during lunch, with a warm-up mile and then a workout mile. I just added another lap to the main workout meal today… so after another week I’ll probably throw in another lap. I’m also going to mix it up with some sprints. 

This is going to be fun. 🙂

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Friends Aren’t Replaceable

My friends are NOT dispensable, replaceable commodities. I can’t just pick one off the shelf of some Friends R Us store and say to myself, “Gee, I think this one can understand me pretty well, I think I’ll get this one.” I can’t take one to a store clerk and ask if the friend comes with a lifetime warranty. Because they are NOT dispensable, replaceable commodities.

Perhaps friendship ROLES are replaceable, because those can be dynamic and aren’t always static. But FRIENDS aren’t replaceable. The way they fill those roles, the things they’ve done for you… that can’t be replaced.

Day 7: Ex-crush

Haha, I kinda still have a soft spot for this chick. I crushed on her real hard in the seventh grade but then got over it. Her name’s Chelsey. I admired her a lot for her kindness and good looks (naturally). I wish I could talk with her more though. She’s really smart and has multiple well-developed skills (that’s really hot to me, I’m sorry if you’re not the same way). She plays the piano well, being an accompanist for our choir class for our concerts for some of our songs. One day she shocked a lot of people by posting up one of her drawings on her Facebook profile; nobody knew she could draw so well.

This girl and I have an interesting relationship, to say the least. In the eighth grade, even when I got over my crush over her, I had this moment with her during the last eighth grade dance that moved me. The memory was strong enough that I carried it up to the beginning of the summer following my sophomore year. I thanked her for that experience in a Facebook conversation. She responded very kindly. We talked again around a month later, and during that conversation, she said I was one of the smartest people she knew. “Like, when I look at you, I think to myself, ‘he’s going to go places.'”

This French certainly isn’t AP level, but, holy shit. I was mind-blown.

Our junior year we were participating in our class’ lip sync for homecoming. During one rehearsal, we had our costumes and the girls happened to be changing. Now, mind you, I’m a wrestler, so changing in public isn’t a big deal to me. Even with girls, I don’t really think about them changing in public. I just happened to be staring off into space and oops, Chelsey was in her underwear and happened to be in my gaze. One of her friends snapped me out of my inner world and I felt somewhat embarrassed that I didn’t think about keeping a girl’s decency intact. I later on comforted myself with the observation that her wearing booty shorts revealed more to me than her being in her underwear.

After one lip sync practice though, we happened to be walking the same way so we talked then. It was pleasant to talk with her: she still had that kindness in her that I liked. The air was odd though, as if she had some shyness that made her uncomfortable. Even so, I still remember her saying that I was “an amazing athlete.” Haha, I still remember the way she said it.

But here’s where I’m confused: throughout all of these years I’ve attempted multiple times to talk to her on Facebook, but none of my messages got a response. I just recently thought about messaging her and opened up the chat box… and then I saw my five previous unanswered attempts at conversation sitting there. It was disheartening and confusing, to say the least. I decided to take it as a hint and to leave her in peace. I felt like if she really wanted to be friends with me, then she would have at least messaged me back, something like, “Oh hey, sorry, I’ve been so busy…” I don’t know.

Sigh. Well. Hopefully I’ll get to have a class with her next year. I haven’t had a class with her since… eighth or ninth grade, I really can’t remember. I’d at least like to talk with her more, maybe even be friends this time around. I’m not gonna bother with a Facebook attempt though, I’d rather not call attention to those idle messages. Those make me feel like such a creep. But hopefully… a class. If not a class, then hopefully a lunchtime someday.

The Real Bonds of a Friendship

I remember a time when I was weak. I felt unable to express myself. Suppressed and trapped, my feelings sat inside me like a gagged canary in a cage. I didn’t think that anybody cared for my weakness. I figured that people were happy as they were without me because all I could see were people smiling and laughing with their friends. To the human mind, appearances can be everything. Apparently people were able to perceive me as a warm person, even when I felt empty and cold, but I felt no bond to help close the gap.

People might say that this is strength, to be able to conceal such pain. I believe in the value of stoicism as well, but I didn’t have the strength to release my humanity, my anger, my love. That’s why I say that I was weak. I sacrificed part of my being, part of my depth, in order to be seen as a more comforting component of my community. I found out that without the occasional release however, we’re condemned to stagnation; if we can never catch a glimpse of what may actually dwell within our hearts, then we could never hope to understand each other and earn a more solidified peace.

I feel that when I decided to try to feel the real bonds of a friendship, I was able to gain something more out of my life. This “something more” is often what I use nowadays to keep strong under pressure. I learned more about what was in my friends’ hearts and I forever gained an invaluable resource and a new understanding of how upsetting it could be to lose people such as them. Yeah, just these past couple of days I’ve been really upset upon realizing how little time I have left with some of them. It’s how it goes.

But friendships don’t have to rely on space and time, I believe. I think that as long as we have the will of those closest to us within our hearts, we can still be friends with each other and still accomplish great things with one another. Because then, we still carry the bonds of friendship and love to keep strong together.

“A spirit doesn’t need a body to connect with others of its kind.” — Anonymous

Caring For Conviction

My conviction lays in pieces on the floor. 

Trying to piece it back together, 

I search for my will. 

I find my pencil.

Found it.

 

My heart unburdened, unchained, 

Flows into my instrument. 

The effort taxes me 

As emotions reverberate. 

My convictions start gluing back together again. 

I am pleased.

 

The energy bursts out, 

I sense the sun, the star, 

In all of its glory. 

My will says it’s done. 

I put the pencil down. 

 

I sink back into my chair, comprehending

My art. 

The words reflect a transience 

Comparable to those explosions in our cars, 

And like those explosions, 

The transience runs me forward. 

 

My conviction, I feel it, caress it, embrace it. 

It’s been too long. 

Let’s spend the rest of our lives together. 

I’ll help you and you’ll help me. 

Our journey won’t know what hit it.