The Virginity Conspiracy

This is simultaneously humorous and disturbing. I’ve been getting lots of pressure recently from a couple of friends to score with chicks. They think that the first time should be gotten over with swiftly. I have a few problems with this: 1) I don’t understand the rush at all and 2) I’m not the kind of person who can just get into bed with a chick. I desire romance, a concept that these two don’t seem to understand.

This pressure by itself I consider normal, especially if it’s only brought up once. However, this was brought up several times already. Annoyed and confused, I’d ask them, “What do you have to gain from this?” They then claim that I’m suffering without realizing it and that bros always look out for each other. They say that I need vagina pretty much now.

Uh, what?

Then this went too far.

Last Monday night, one of my best friends said that these same two friends were talking about getting me drunk to sleep with a chick while he was with them. He said he tried defending me, but they insisted that they could do it very easily, as I’m apparently really gullible.

My butthurt was beyond words.

I have various problems with this situation. In fact, the benefit of the doubt that I’ve been giving them so far has been reduced to such a miniscule amount that I’m somewhat uncomfortable around them. While I do have my gullible moments, I’m sure that most of them stem from the fact that I trust all of my friends. I’m like my mom in this regard; I hand out trust easily, but once violated… good luck getting it back. I’d understand if they joked around, if they said that I’d only sleep with a chick if I was drunk out of my mind, but apparently they were serious about it. I trust my source.

For now, my guard is up. I won’t do anything unless absolutely certain that that is their intention. If they are serious about it and will actually attempt to carry this out, I’m afraid I will have to cut some ties. If this happens, it will be an intolerably severe violation of trust. And most likely I won’t ever give it back. I’ll be cautious; I won’t accept any offers of food or drink from them.

I really wish that it was a tasteless joke. I honestly do. I’m allergic to this bullshit.


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