Day 12: The Person that Caused Me the Most Pain

Sorry folks, posting up all of the days now. Finally got back to Cali. Had a blast in the east. So, let’s move on, shall we? 

The person that caused me the most pain is myself. People can create situations that we perceive as painful, but they don’t necessarily give pain out directly, unless they sought out to do so. I’m not even sure if what I just said makes sense, but my main point: I caused myself the most pain by having certain perceptions in my life.

I used to hate myself, think of myself as a lone wolf, think that I was unwanted, particularly in school. I believed myself to be a disgrace, but since I’ve grown socially since last summer, I realized that no disgrace would have the friends that I have today. When I finally came to that conclusion, my pain was immediately relieved.

My worst enemy was myself.

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2 comments on “Day 12: The Person that Caused Me the Most Pain

  1. Happylifeaholic says:

    Oh how I can relate.

  2. valkyrieh says:

    It makes me sad that you would have ever felt that way. You have never been a disgrace in any way, shape, or form for a single moment of your life. And you are right–no one will ever cause you more pain than yourself. We can’t control the way other people feel, and we can’t control what they do–all we can ever do is fix our reactions to things. It doesn’t mean we will never feel pain. Pain is just part of life. But it’s more empowering and healthy to recognize the true source of our pain and avoid blaming. Blaming creates helplessness.

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