Day 7: Ex-crush

Haha, I kinda still have a soft spot for this chick. I crushed on her real hard in the seventh grade but then got over it. Her name’s Chelsey. I admired her a lot for her kindness and good looks (naturally). I wish I could talk with her more though. She’s really smart and has multiple well-developed skills (that’s really hot to me, I’m sorry if you’re not the same way). She plays the piano well, being an accompanist for our choir class for our concerts for some of our songs. One day she shocked a lot of people by posting up one of her drawings on her Facebook profile; nobody knew she could draw so well.

This girl and I have an interesting relationship, to say the least. In the eighth grade, even when I got over my crush over her, I had this moment with her during the last eighth grade dance that moved me. The memory was strong enough that I carried it up to the beginning of the summer following my sophomore year. I thanked her for that experience in a Facebook conversation. She responded very kindly. We talked again around a month later, and during that conversation, she said I was one of the smartest people she knew. “Like, when I look at you, I think to myself, ‘he’s going to go places.'”

This French certainly isn’t AP level, but, holy shit. I was mind-blown.

Our junior year we were participating in our class’ lip sync for homecoming. During one rehearsal, we had our costumes and the girls happened to be changing. Now, mind you, I’m a wrestler, so changing in public isn’t a big deal to me. Even with girls, I don’t really think about them changing in public. I just happened to be staring off into space and oops, Chelsey was in her underwear and happened to be in my gaze. One of her friends snapped me out of my inner world and I felt somewhat embarrassed that I didn’t think about keeping a girl’s decency intact. I later on comforted myself with the observation that her wearing booty shorts revealed more to me than her being in her underwear.

After one lip sync practice though, we happened to be walking the same way so we talked then. It was pleasant to talk with her: she still had that kindness in her that I liked. The air was odd though, as if she had some shyness that made her uncomfortable. Even so, I still remember her saying that I was “an amazing athlete.” Haha, I still remember the way she said it.

But here’s where I’m confused: throughout all of these years I’ve attempted multiple times to talk to her on Facebook, but none of my messages got a response. I just recently thought about messaging her and opened up the chat box… and then I saw my five previous unanswered attempts at conversation sitting there. It was disheartening and confusing, to say the least. I decided to take it as a hint and to leave her in peace. I felt like if she really wanted to be friends with me, then she would have at least messaged me back, something like, “Oh hey, sorry, I’ve been so busy…” I don’t know.

Sigh. Well. Hopefully I’ll get to have a class with her next year. I haven’t had a class with her since… eighth or ninth grade, I really can’t remember. I’d at least like to talk with her more, maybe even be friends this time around. I’m not gonna bother with a Facebook attempt though, I’d rather not call attention to those idle messages. Those make me feel like such a creep. But hopefully… a class. If not a class, then hopefully a lunchtime someday.

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