There was a time when you told me that all that you’ve ever wanted was to mean something to someone. At this point, I suppose that you know that you mean something to me. But what do you really know? Last Easter Sunday, I fell to a really low point. After my dad’s announcement of his second divorce on Easter Friday, things kind’ve floated around for a bit and then bam! everything caved in on Sunday. I felt like breaking. I didn’t feel like fighting. I could hardly believe what was happening. As I was doing homework that day, I felt myself sinking into a downward spiral, thinking more and more about my pain and the heaviness in my chest.
Until of course, I thought about you. I have always drawn upon you for strength, but this time was different. Succeeding my lowest experience in several years, I rebounded. I was so pumped. I remembered that I was friends with the girl who made the most of her second chance every day— you. Do you know what that means? It means that the sheer pride that I can take in being able to call myself your friend was enough for me to recover from a hard fall. It was more than enough; I was never so determined about doing the things I love most.
Others might consider you to be a pretty face with a diverse skill set. To me, you are much more than that. You are my best friend, a person that I aspire to be like. To me, a best friend is a person who can bring the best out of me. I have never before admired someone so much for their fortitude, sensitivity, intelligence, and beauty. Every day, I try to imitate this in order to improve myself. I guess you can imagine how happy it makes me when you come up to me, to at least see how I’m doing.
Remember that time when we rode back from St. Patrick’s on the bus? I had the luck of being able to sit next to you and it meant so much. Amongst the chaos of a ton of teenagers chatting all at the same time in a large vehicle, I said little to you. I wasn’t certain if I should say something. I just knew that I enjoyed the fact that I was able to at least be at your side, even if it meant being non-conversational. We were both listening to our iPods, and with your fatigue from all of your hard work, you settled your head onto my shoulder. I was so happy, but when I put on your cover of “Sunday Morning,” the feeling was indescribable. I never felt so close to someone. It didn’t feel like real life, it didn’t feel like it was me who was experiencing it.
I guess the whole point of me writing this is for me to really know how I feel. These kinds of thoughts bounce around in my head for a while before finally coming out, so getting them out feels nice too. I think you observed correctly in that I have been coming out of my shell more this year.
Well, I do know that if I’m able to tell you all of these things, then you’ll make the most out of them too. With all of your abilities and knowledge, it’ll be exciting to see what kind of woman you’ll grow into. Just know that whatever path you decide to take, I’ll always love you.